Planes, Trains and Automobiles

I made it back into America! Jubilations! Not that I was worried for a second…

A few days ago I took my third and final trip to Montreal, so that I could then come back into the States on a tourist visa and extend my stay by 90 days. A bit of a faffy situation, but it did mean I got to spend time with the Scottish friend I made on the October visit, then stayed with in January, and was able to check out Montreal’s famous Jazz Festival – days on days of free live music in the downtown area of the city. I also went for my first run in the outside world since June 2015 when I made this face:

Something ridiculous about discovering new places while on holiday and being healthy spurred me on; I have not been able to move properly since.

With my success crossing the border, I now feel safe enough discussing my upcoming summer plans. Soon my sistah from another mistah, Liv, will be meeting me here in Boston and we will be heading off on a bit of a cross-country excursion. I have not been this excited about something cross-country related since I prepared myself to tell the P.E. teacher at school that I would be quitting the running team.

(A naturalistic shot of us in the wild)

This map took me two hours to construct and highlights not only my abundance of skill in Paint (not Photoshop, I’m not made of money), but also the places Liv and I will be venturing to on our month-long trip. For an added bonus, I have also included the other places I have visited since being on placement, indicated by my over-pixilated but euphoric face (New Hampshire, Vermont, Montreal, Vancouver, North Carolina and soon, New Orleans). Each “Point” on the map has been subjected to serious research, i.e. Liv and I watched some TV shows set in these cities.

At Point (A), Boston, I will show Liv the revolutionary sights of American Independence and my favourite place to get a hot dog. We may also do a day trip to Salem, because historic witches are sexy and Salem was the best character in ‘Sabrina the Teenage Witch’. Television-based research: Salem.

Point (B) is New York City; we have both already done the enjoyable but expensive tourist attractions so I imagine we will mostly end up walking around markets and eating when we are not too hungover from the city that never sleeps. Television-based research: Sex and the City/Girls/Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt.

Point (C) is Philadelphia – a new city for both Liv and myself. So far our itinerary involves mostly food and drinks places, but to my credit I have not yet done any proper research. Television-based research: It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

Point (D) is Washington DC. I hope to run into Obama or Kevin Spacey there, either will do. Television-based research: House of Cards.

Point (E) is Pittsburgh – come to think of it, the interary at the moment is much like that for Philly. We are primarily stopping here to avoid a 33 hour bus ride to Chicago. Television-based research: Dance Moms.*

Which leads us onto Point (F) – Chicago. Not only will our faces be buried in deep dish pizza, but we will also be taking in our first music festival of the trip – Lollapalooza. As well as being extremely excited for the festival, I am also very thankful for the reasonably relaxed working environment that allowed me to snap up tickets at my desk before they ran out. Television-based research: Chicago Fire.

All of these points thus far will be reached by bus – the people’s carriage. After basking in Chicago’s glory, we will be swapping shakey wifi and even shakier on-board loos for a plane to Point (G) – San Francisco – where we will be scoping out an American club that plays Britpop and a fun tour of Alcatraz. Prisons are so in right now. Television-based research: Sense 8.

We will also be heading to our second music festival of the trip in San Fran – Outside Lands – where I fully expect to die of happiness in front of Elton John. I would like to take the time at this point to state that I did some relatively dramatic things to make sure I could afford both of these festivals. I probably shouldn’t say exactly what I did, as I am still not 100% sure that it was “allowed” or “legal“, according to my visa terms (just kidding US Government… JK).

Speaking of doing dramatic things to prepare for this trip, I have also gone and cut off all my hair. I was getting increasingly more stressed, trying to plan out when the best times would be for me to whack out the hair-dryer and straighteners while balancing travelling frivolities and levels of socially-acceptable personal upkeep. I will inevitably need to wash my hair a few times due to swimming/sweating/general grime, but the whole process usually takes about an hour and a half per go and becomes more and more necessary the fizzier east coast humidity makes it. Plus, doing so also requires about seven difference pieces of equipment and products, which is not what you want when you are trying to fit your life in a backpack. Cutting it all off has made looking after my hair joyfully easier, and while the main reason for doing so was to get rid of the relaxed hair and start growing it again with its natural texture, the timing could not have been better.

       (Near the start of placement year vs. near the end)

Because we will be so over buses by this point and deserve to travel in some degree of style (domestic flights can be gloriously cheap), Liv and I will then fly from San Fran to Portland, Point H, where we will go on a safari of hipsters in their native habitat. Television-based research: Portlandia.

The final leg of the trip will see us hopping on a double-decker train (???) and crossing the border over to Vancouver – Point I. This will be where I’ll either spend any money I have left on maple syrup, or where I will end up busking on the street to earn enough dolla for food. Television-based research: Orphan Black*

Every means of transport has been worked out meticulously to ensure the cheapest ways to travel (hence all the buses and only one train). Our motto while planning the trip became “every little helps”, born from deciding between getting a bus at 8.30am instead of 12pm to save $2.50 and flying with no checked baggage because who needs stuff really? I believe the total for all the planes, trains and automobiles came up to about $460 (not including the flight home), which is outrageous really. Accommodation will be interesting – we are relying largely on the kindness of friends and family to give us places to stay, as well as that of strangers on ‘Couchsurfing’ and a couple of hostels.

Our flight back from Vancouver to London (well, Vancouver to Iceland, then London) is on the 21st August, which means not only will the trip last exactly one month, but I will have passed my year long mark of vacacement by two days. That doesn’t really mean much, but it is oddly satisfying.

Anyway, if anyone has any recommendations for things to do in any of these places, please let us know. I will be attempting to continue blogging throughout the trip, although I will not promise anything as I will not have my laptop with me and my inability to use a phone keyboard is demonstrated on a daily basis when I send awkwardly cryptic texts.

Just in case anyone is wondering, I will be 21 by the time the odyssey begins. It is actually my birthday in TWO DAYS and I am so ready to have my first taste of alcohol in the United States; ten and a half months of sobriety has been awfully challenging. It is excellent timing, as I will also be going to New Orleans this weekend and there is absolutely no point in going to a place called “Bourbon Street” when you are under 21.

I am not going to give away what I will be doing to celebrate my birthday, but let’s just say I have been very inspired by Channing Tatum’s latest oeuvre.

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*I did not actually watch “Dance Moms”, as I am not that basic. “Salem” remains on my to-watch list and there does not seem to be anything set in Vancouver that is worth watching, so Toronto stepped in as a substitute.